Have you ever wondered if there is no purpose for you to be alive ..

• • Have you ever believed you have something more to offer in your life..
  • Have you ever realized if you were
  • in a different circumstance and you had been given everything , you would have never dreamt of this, your situations  .

May it be your life’s choices or what you had been dealt with..you go on as long as you can,and one day IT ALL COMES TO A STOP. .AND you draw a blank..yep…

That happened to me..it was one fine day i woke up and realized…i have nothing..see i do have been blessed by having children and a loving man who married me..despite all my drawbacks…It is not uncommon many woman have been in my shoes around the world in many walks of life..but, everyone’s life story is unique..and so is mine.

Like most little kid i loved my mom and dad dearly..I always  wanted to run to my aunt who raised me since she was unmarried and lived with us.

I was a kid who stood out whatever sports or dance or anything it was i did. Everyone in our family were kind and i was fortunate to have many cousins and mentors i will be thankful to,till this day.

All that crumbled one day when my mother called to her side and what she told me next..

“You are not our child,you were given up by your birth mother who did not want you..” see my mom used to say things like ‘I bought you for a bag of food from a street vendor’ etc .if she was angry at some mischief i would have done as a 5yr old or so..i took this not that serious either and kept on as if i heard nothing,my mother had spoken about.

Then  one day when i came crying to my mom saying that my school had sent me home and had wanted  me to wear clothes suitable to look like a teenager,since i had growing body parts obvious to others to notice , ( i was in a country, were dress code was according to not just age, although i already wore long clothes in the first place,even when i played sports,which i did a lot.

INSTEAD of seeing the changes and embracing it and teaching me the stage i was to embrace as a young girl , i  was being beaten up for no reason and told i was adopted and it became more a burden now on my mother ( no no,my adopted mom) went on as she found some reason to torture me, hmm

I cried ,but did not fully grasp my mother’s attitude.

One day i became clear a few years before this incident,when my brother was born ..my mother made it clear i waS 100 % AN ORPHAN And i was adopted..since then everytime any harsh word or any beating happened to me by my mother , i would clamp it to ” i am not her baby that is why she is beating me; she does not love me”..on and on my young mind cried quietly inside..because i was beaten up even if my mom saw my tears or my cries.

But,one thing kept me going was my little baby brother..i was baby sitting him all the time apart from school hours.

My dance classes and other tutoring classes were discontinued,so i can help with the baby i thought….

Only The Lord’s Hand’s kept me living ….

The events that followed i will share in a bit in the second part of this blog post.