[6/9, 10:47] BLESSED❤ YAHWEH SHALOM 🙏😇: Some people never stop what they have decided or change it or let go it..
That makes them and others who care or love them miserable.
Every human being, including myself have to know and think about what it is we CHERISH OR FORGET. And, .THEN LIFE AT ANY AGE OR STAGE CAN MOVE ON WITHOUT CAUSING HINDRANCES.
ESPECIALLY IF A LOVED

ONE IS HURTING AND YOU CAN’T STOP YOUR TWO CENTS in the way it puts the other in an awkward position and makes them wonder …’should I say this or not, even for a regular conversation.”
Then there can’t be peace of mind or any HARMONY BETWEEN THEM ..
MIGHT IT BE A PARENT OR A SIBLING OR EVEN YOUR BELOVED BETTER HALF..
IT BECOMES A BARRICADE…AND MAKES YOU STOP…THINK..HOLD BACK..never again can anyone rely or be free to
[6/9, 11:52] BLESSED❤ YAHWEH SHALOM 🙏😇: Talk as a SOULMate or a trusted Friend or someone who can rely on a PARENT TO BE OPEN TO ANY BLABBER OR CRY OF THEIR CHILD. WITHOUT JUDGING OR DISCOURAGING MANNER.

SO, I WILL ALSO NOT WORRY ABOUT WHAT THE WORLD WOULD SAY…BUT SAY WHAT I NEED THE WORLD TO HEAR..
TAKE IT OR LEAVE IT..
BUT MY GOSL IS TESTIFY WHAT MY CREATOR HAS DONE AND IS DOING AND WILL ALWAYS TILL THE END BE THERE FOR ME.
FOR LOVE IS MY ALMIGHTY FATHER UNCONDITIONAL.ALWAYS TO ME..
EITHER WHEN I AM WANDERING ,OR I AM IN THE DEEP OR UP FLOATING NOT KNOWING WHAT MY NEXT STEP IS FOR SURE.
THANK YOU FATHER.

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No.Can’t do it. NEVER GOING TO HAPPEN FOR ME..
She never finishes anything.
She is a failure because she can never win.
I can not do that because i need …..but i dont have and so i can never amount to something.
How many people can relate to these words.
Yes .tell me you never can understand or relate to anyone.
BUT , this one can. Actually it is the slogan of a PRODIGAL just before reaching out to his or her ‘Surrender all” mode . Before a prodigal reaches that point of submission.
It is the main realization battle that takes place within that person.
The same can be told about our PRIDIGAL CHARACTER IN MY STORY.
OK , LETS GET TO THE POINT.

It is not easy to face facts or may we say, face reality.
It is never NEVER easy to admit ones fault or in this situation a sin against a loved one.

So i begins.I can Never get this story right ..just kidding with you all.
Yes I Can get it very very right.
Because it is very close to my life story too in many ways.
I have tried and have fallen many times hut i have been fortunate to pull myself up and move on.

BIBLICALLY’ IT SAYS NOT EQUALLY YOKED ‘ IT WON’T WORK. Cannot live life that way

Absolutely unless anything is done unitedly cannot survive. Sometimes a prodigal Woman can even get out of AN EQUALLY YOKED RELARIONSHIP AND DESTROY HER LIFE..

FORGIVENESS is a strong word. It isn’t easy to say, ” sorry and go on. Can you stop to see if the other person says ACCEPTED to your sorry. No not always. But when it comes to asking PARDON for a serious mistake or shall i say, for a betrayal of trust to a loved one.

Then YES . YOU NEED TO SEE FACE TO FACE TO ASK FOR THAT FORGIVENESS.
FORGIVING THE OTHER PERSON IS THE HARDESS THING TO DO OF YOUR FELLOW HUMAN BEING..
BUT, it can be done.
THE ONLY WAY YOU CAN FORGIVE OR BE FORGIVEN IS BY TRUE LOVE

OUR ALMIGHTY CREATOR FORGAVE US OUR SINS AND REDEEMED US BY THE SHED BLOOD OF OUR SAVIOUR FOR OUR SINS.
IF WE ACCEPTED THAT AND BELIEVED IT WHEN WE COME TO HIM , CAN’T WE NOT FORGIVE OTHERS ?

And by forgiveness it releases us from all the burden and now we can go to the THRONE OF GRACE and ASK BOLDLY WHAT IT IS WE WANT ACCORDING TO THE WORD
HIS GRACE EXTENDS TO SAVE AND TO REDEEM AND FORGIVE AND ACCEPT AND BY THAT WE ARE SAVED AND NOW BLESSED INDEED TO BE A BLESSING. IN THAT WAY YOU CAN BECOME A BLESSING TO OTHERS FOR HIS NAME SAKE. IT IS FOR HIS GLORY ALONE🙏 YOU END UP STRIVING.

This is a chapter of THE PRODIGAL.

NOW SHE SPEAKS ONCE AGAIN

When i began writing this blog it was just the heartfelt matter of clarifying this doubt .For many years i was only told or read about the parable of the PRODIGAL SON IN THE BIBLE.

Then one day i realized are we all Prodigals? We are either religious or believe in right and wrong and live one way or other .

All the survival game. More to say it is deeply imbedded in every human to not just be accepted as the favorite of a peer or your loved ones.But to be acknowledged as No #1 in whatever we do or are in the place you are in life.

Not every kid is blessed to even have a parent, moreover getting into even an adopted parent. Foster parents are another story.Some are lucky in that department

Many do not even have a place to live or a good family who cares and provides for them.

It is a story of a girl even as she was growing up was competing for the love and attention of her parents , especially her mother’s smile or a word from her that showed her mom loved her .That she was the apple of her mom’s eye..

It was like her life’s mission to get approved that she was her mother’s loving daughter and her mom knew that.See, it was the fact that whatever she did she always ended up getting beaten or yelled at. Don’t get me wrong. Her mother always got her nice presents after she had beaten her to death over even a spilled coffee or milk even as a 5 year old she remembers vivdly. She could never understand it at all

Why? What has she done that her mother despises her do viciously.

This was more realized when she ended up becoming big sister to a little cute baby brother. Even before her mom had had time to sing or teach her and give her attention in putting her to special classes for classical dancing and letting her participate in church dramas and musical programmes.

But now it was special extra criticism and being abused for no reason at all.

Luckily this girl loved her little baby brother and did not get defensive or jealous of him. Though her mother was pampering the baby..the little girl was literally taking care of him and in herself took on the part to become his protector. She did not want her parents to beat him or hurt hum like they did with her even as a little child.

It was not easy. Her spinster aunt, their fatber’s sister was both the kids caretaker and she loved then both dearly. See her aunt used to be a midwife and has been a crucial part of her life since her birth.

it never dawned on the little girl to ask why her mother was so irrational and why she is being treated do violently even when it was nothing that she did or nor do. Sad as it is for a child you grow up in this situation there was nothing else can she do or go.

There was nice times and some of her relatives who were very kind and sweet to her. She was close to her dad’s sisters family, the other aunt who were the only normal things she could relate to as the joyous times in her life.

They tried to help defend her by taking her to church and let her spend time in their house many weekends and holidays. There she was able to see normalcy .those were her happy memories growing up. But, it did not stay that way.later she knew the meaning to it and when she realized z bad event with a cousin of hers very much older and she was but a child..

She was scared but when she tried to say something in her childish way , her mother brushed it off .The one good thing was , i think her sprinter aunt encouraged her sister to take the little girl for weekends etc. and keep her in the small crowded house but safe and away from evil men and an abusive mother.

There in her uncle’s home she was herself.Felt special and recognized and not afraid of how or what to expect to happen or can’t even say anything that would trigger her mom to behave in that hateful manner

So,now it is up to the individual to do all in one’s power to prove he or she is the best. Even as a child they try to get their parents attention by wanting to be patted on their back or spoken proudly about them to others as “how proud they are of their child”. HE OR SHE IS ALL THAT AND THE MOST IMPORTANT PERSON IN THEIR LIFE.

She was called -‘glutten” as soon as as a child eager to run back to play or finish school work ..and her plate pulled off under her and go to sleep hungry

Being deprived of love but told they were so nice to her and to be called names and beaten up till the horse jockey’s stick that my mother had kept to beat her and the big broom stick made of bamboo for cleaning the roof used on this helpless girl was not in any. accord normal.

She never knew or never got close to understanding her mom till later in of her mother’s older age a little maybe , dawned on her. But why did her hen pecked dad go along with her mom and not stop her even though her dad was protective and many times tried to stand up to.that mother who could have never become a biological parent.

But to know the story in detail znd what happened yo thsy little girl or what had happened to the mididwife or the birth mother is yet to be revealed

Yes, she was the midwife nurse who adopted this child . From the moment this midwife delivered this beautiful baby from birthmother’s womb , she longed and wished if she could have been her child. Later when one day this nurse midwife told the truth about her adopting this baby girl .

She always added..”oh the baby first smiled at me before even her mother who gave birth”. Many things lead to this adoption and you kind of know a bit about the abuse etc later in the former pages.

But this is not the end. Did the child grow up to be a nervous wreck or fight through her negative life happenings and hurts .Did she get tp ever meet her birth mother let alone did she ever matter to anything

Did she ever become successful in proving or being she was worthy to be loved.or Did she become a PRODIGAL TO THE DOT OF THE MEANING TO THE WORD.

Or did her life turn in to be a disaster as her adapted mother always spoke over her for the longest time she could remember.

Did she even let go of her guard of not being accepted for herself and ever fall in love with herself as she grew up ? Did she fall in love and was she ever got swept off her feet by a charming Prince in armor who saved her from her nasty Wicked mother sbd s helpless henpecked. Adopted dad

Even when she grew up and became an adult she never had answers to all her questions. She never let go of the thought imbedded deeply inside her heart ? Was she a Prodigal child?

The only thing that got her through was her faith in her Creator.For that she was eternally thankful.

She was grateful to her uncles family for giving her a great childhood of laughter where she was able to pretend she mattered..at all.The funny part is that she never hated her mom, who though abusive still had her good qualities. One might wonder reading this to be ever real feeling or just the healing process .The mind is an amazing instrument but above it all, our Saviour’s love was the one TRUE LOVE THAT WAS CONSTANT IN HER LIFE to say it to be exact.

Nothing she went through was short of a miracle.may it be when she grew up or when she survived an automobile accident that left her fight for her life even as a teenager.

Her life after that had a nice ending

But, it did not last

She couldn’t go on in situations of life without more disasters to say it the least.Her love life suffered due to it. She loved and was happily settled later but that also did not last

This story has many parts to join together for the making of one persons life.But the only matter was that stayed now was that , did she now becOme A PRODIGAL EVEN WHEN SHE FOUND LOVE

You decide..the story continues in The Novel yet in the making.

But, hoping to touch the hearts of those who read this book.. it is from a battered soul who never for one moment had ever stop wondering if SHE WAS A PRODIGAL AFTER ALL. TO HAVE BEEN CREATED TO BECOME THE LAUGHING STOCK OF ALL.

TO BE SET AS AN EXAMPLE OF A YOUNG CHILD WHO NEVER CAN GROW OUT OF HER INNER HURTFUL SELF.

She was never to yet forget the one song growing up her mom who did her a favor for once through this

‘Out in this whole world alone, walking about in the streets. Asking fir something to eat ..longing for somewhere to sleep..NOBODY’S DARLING AM I , NOBODY CARES FOR ME” this was a moment of TRUTH .

More to come in the next part

THANKS FOR READING THIS SO FAR.BELIEVE ME YOU WILL NEVER HAVE A MOMENT OF INTERESTING MATTERS TO THINK OF AND WONDER ABOUT “WHAT HAPPENED NEXT….To be continued..

It has been a year since i wanted to travel across the world to see the Love of my life who i had left almost more than three decades ago .I did have a good reason to travel at that time.

My mother who had adopted me at birth and gave me a roof over my head and a family to call it mine had travelled back to our motherland after my dad died a few years earlier.

Now she died and i had to travel back to take care of her last wish..to be buried in our country that is when i began realizing the past events etc.
Some might say what has that to do with me going to see the Love of my life..now of all times..there is a link there.You will understsnd as the book progresses

WHY NOW and NOT ALL THIS TIME? . Many have asked me.I do not know ,I DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY I DID NOT GET IN CONNECTION WITH THE ONE TRUE LOVE I WAS GIVEN as no one could ever have been handed to on a silver platter to be exact.

This is the new approach to my book that i had stopped writing due to various reasons i will reveal as i progress through my writing assignment i have so diligently began once again

Will go on to see first what brought me to make this decision in the first place..I am both excited and worried.You may ask , do u have second thoughts..hmm No, i passed that stage now can say safely that. In the beginning yes to say less

Yes, it is never easy to ask to be forgiven let alone to forgive others.Even harder to forget anything as that which life had so far you have been dealt with..a roller coaster or Yo-Yo experience to be exact.

Ok with no further ado let me start by saying.’Please come with me and see for yourself what happened or can i rather say what could or might happen ..if you believe it was all in the game of true love.The Victory of TRUE LOVE IS…….correct you guessed right.Truth be told

Today i come before Thee first to Praise Thee Father.

Your word confirms and leads the way for each step of our way..

I am in awe of you mercies for YOU ALONE ARE GOOD.

YOU CHOOSE US..YOU ADOPTED AND FORGAVE AND BLESSED US INDEED

HALLALUYAH AMEIN.

What i want to do and need to do is all accordingly done…it is better and right when it is done according to Your Will Father.

This day i wanted to begin a ministry to Bless and be Blessed by my BOOKS REVENUE THAT I HAD BEEN PLANNING TO DO FOR ALMOST A YEAR ..

SO, THOUGH I HAD PLANNED IT IT IS IN YOUR WAY AND IN YOUR TIMING IT IS GOING TO BE BIRTHED.

Therefore, i am just laying at your feet and giving it to you and will Wait for YOUR ANSWER. IN YOUR WAY YOU WILL REVEAL WHAT I NEED TO DO.

THANK YOU YAHWEH IN OUR SAVIOUR’S NAME. AMEIN.

In Faith I ASK AND SEEK AND KNOCK DAILY WHAT YOU HAVE SAID IN YOUR WORD. for me and my house my Father.

Praising and Praying and Persevering in Faith in THEE FATHER AND ABIDING IN YASHUA OUR MESSIAH..

HEBREW 11:6 …PSALM119:105

MATHEW 6:33..

SAVE MY HOUSEHOLD AND YOUR KINGDOM COME IN OUR LIFE .THAT OUR STONEY HEARTS BE TURNED TOWARDS THEE( EZEKIEL 38

LIKE ABRAHAM BY FAITH IT WAS COUNTED RIGHTEOUS .

YES FATHER. THOUGH THE CRAZE FOR MONEY IS THE CAUSE OF EVIL but, we need to live and pay our debts and GIVE AND TITHE SO TO BLESS OUR CHILDREN AND LOVED ONES AND THOSE YOU PUT IN OUR LIVES

JOHN 17.

NOT YELLING FROM PULPITS BUT TO SHARE WHAT YOU MY SAVIOR HAS DONE IN OUR LIVES especially in mine from the time you created me .

Thank you. Help me to finish my purpose in life you had planned for me to give Glory to You my Father.

In My Saviour Yahshua ‘s name AMEIN

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YOU MIGHT WONDER WHAT HAS THIS TO DO WITH AUTISM FUNDRAISER.

IT DOES ABSOLUTELY .I DO HAVE FAMILY MEMBERS AND FRIENDS WHO HAVE CHILDREN WHO ARE AUTISTIC…DIFFERENT LEVELS.DIFFERENT CHALLENGES YOU BE FACED, BOTH BY THE PARENTS AND THE CHILD ITSELF.IT IS A LONG PROCESS.

SO , AGAIN IT PROVES HE LEADS US TO DO WHAT HE WANTS US TO ACCOMPLISH ..MAY IT BE SMALL OR BIG….IN THIS CASE TO SHARE HIS LEADING. ..HE IS THE ORCHESTRATOR .HE KNOWS HOW TO LEAD AND ALL I DO IS to LISTEN AND JUST DO IT…no questions asked…..🙏😊

Many a times i have wondered why i have always been the one pursuing the family member who had not taken any interest in communicating with me for a long time . Even when it has been for weeks together or sometimes months apart, who actually live close by where i live or those who are afar off.

Then, i realize the TRUTH..IT DOESN’T MATTER…ONLY OUR ALMIGHTY WHO CREATED US CAN BE THE JUDGE OF ALL

I have been adding to this blog post as things happen.

For a while i had been wonderimg what to do in my this stage in my life. Many matters have to taken intp consideration..so i began to research all venues and angles of potential NEXT STEPS AT THIS STAGE IN MY LIFE: NOT DYING OR QUITTING MY PRECIOUS GIFT ‘LIFE’

JUST WANTED A FRESH START.

I BELIEVE IT IS DESTINY AS MOSTLY SAID OR HIS WILL AS I KNOW AND BELIEVE IN HIS DIRECTION.

Will know more once final.decision is made.

Will know more once final direction has been derived

Will know more and put it in writhing as the final.action is taken

Finally, with Our Creator a NEW CHAPTER WILL BE REVEALED FOR HIS GLORY.

We hear sermons that change our lives.

We hear songs that stay with us all our lives ..be it a movie song or be it a song we had grown up listening at religious institutions or meetings .

.
IN 1975 I WAS IN A VERY BAD SHAPE. JUST HAD SURVIVED AN AUTOMOBILE( BUS) ACCIDENT.
TO ADD TO THAT , I HAD BEEN A STUDENT AT THE MEDICAL LAB. TECH PROGRAMME AND HAD HAD AN ACCIDENT due to A CRACKED GLASS SLIDE( WITH COCCI SPUTUM ) aND HAD HURT MY FINGER.

It was MY TEST For THE FINAL EXAM I THINK NOT VERY SURE HOW IT HAPPENED.
BUT ANYWAY I ENDED UP GETTING THE INFECTION ,FATAL CONDITION .
I WAS TAKEN TO HIS MEETING BY MY BELOVED CLASSMATE ,I HEARD THIS THAT DAY.

Since it sliced my finger ..i ended up being crucially sick, with infection.

STILL RINGING IN MY YEARS.
MY CREATOR,OUR REDEEMER NEVER LEFT ME ,THROUGH ALL THAT HE GAVE ME HIS HEALING TOUCH AND SAVED ME.
I OWE IT TO MY BELOVED CLASSMATE WHO HELPED ME WITH ALL MY CLASS WORK, AND HELPED ME ,COMPLETE MY COURSE WORK AND GET MY CERTIFICATE TOO.
YES WHATEVER MAY COME AND WHATEVER HAPPENS ,NEED TO REMEMBER HIS LOVE IS DEEPER THAN THAT aLL.. AND HE WILL LIFT YOU UP AND OUT OF IT, SO I WILL HOLD ON TO MY SAVIOUR,MY REDEEMER MY YASHUA MESSIAH .. AMEIN.
LIKE THE SONG. I had heard during one of the meeting my favorite person who was the reason i am still alive took me to, I SAY YES FOR MY VICTORY WILL COME FROM HEAVEN,MY CREATOR ALMIGHTY YAHWEH WILL GUARD ME .AMEIN.